Wedding Invitations

Today I would like to continue discussing the etiquette of wedding toasts. Yesterday I mentioned the “disapproving family member”, but today I’d like to talk another kind of “Debbie Downer”.

Have you ever witnessed a wedding toast where instead of toasting the bride and groom, they turn the attention on themselves by making the toast about themselves? Sure some people do this because their ego is larger than life, but then others are quite the opposite. I’m talking about the self pittier (if that’s even a word).

A great example of this comes from a wedding I personally attended. Everyone was on such a high from all the excitement, the laughter and the other toasts. Then the microphone was past to “Debbie Downer”. She originally started by saying she hopes their marriage works out better than hers did. Then she started going on about her problems and all kinds of other negatives. She totally killed the good mood and atmosphere in that room. Luckily though, she wasn’t the last person to speak, otherwise people would have left the wedding feeling pretty crumby. I’m sure she didn’t intend to make it about herself, but she was obviously still “healing” from her experience.  It’s OK to feel remorse or sorrow, but a wedding toast is not the appropriate time or place for it.

This is another reason you may want to pre-choose who does wedding speeches. If this does happen though, make sure it’s followed by someone who can lift the gloomy cloud of despair.