Wedding Invitations

Choose your wedding party wisely, especially your best man. Not all of your fraternity brothers, childhood friends, or basketball buddies need to be included in the wedding party.

Think about who you can imagine yourself still being friends with twenty years down the road, and your choices should become clearer.

When planning male bonding events for the wedding weekend, stick with golf or spectator sports as opposed to risking injury in a group football or basketball game. A black eye or twisted ankle won’t go over well on your wedding day.

Your best man should be the person you can most depend on in the whole world. His role is to walk the fine line between helping you celebrate your final days of bachelorhood and getting you to the ceremony in once piece and with no regrets.

Does the best man need to be a brother, brother-in-law, or future brother-in-law? If this man is the closest to you, then yes. If, however, your brother or brother-in-law is much younger and cannot handle the planning duties, or if he is very single and cannot grasp the importance of why you are getting married in the first place, then think about having your best friend do the honors.

If your bride has brothers that she wants you to include in your wedding part, consider doing so.

If you have already invited enough guys to be in your party, offer your bride’s male friends the honor of being ushers (they seat guests but do not stand up at the wedding) or doing a reading. Readings can range from a personal poem selected by the bride and groom to a biblical passage pertinent to the ceremony. Or, readings can be poetic, meaningful reflections written by the designated reader to the bride and groom.

If you have a sister whom you’d like to see included in your bride’s wedding party, it is only fair to offer to ask her brother to be in yours. Approach these family issues with sensitivity and open communication. Feelings can get hurt.

Guys are much more flexible and accommodating when it comes to sensitive issues regarding the wedding party. Plus, they can always be assigned the roles of ushers, program distributors, ketubah signers, chuppah holders, and even readers in your ceremony. Don’t sweat it.

Provide your best man with a detailed schedule of the wedding events and a timetable of where and when things will occur. He should keep this handy as his guide throughout the events. (If you use a wedding coordinator, he or she can help you put this list together.)

On the wedding day, give your best man the rings, the officiant fee, a detailed schedule of the day, and all other pertinent items (breath mints, lip balm, wallet) to hold onto for you. He’ll be your right-hand man.