Wedding Invitations

Hand-write thank you notes. Computer printing, emailing or calling will not suffice.

Have stationary printed with your new married names or, at a minimum, your and your husband’s first names. This is a very classy touch and your first opportunity to use your names together.

Try to hand-address your envelopes rather than use computer labels. It’s perfectly okay to order envelopes with preprinted return addresses, though, and you’ll save the time that you would have spent applying return address labels or writing the return addresses by hand.

Have a three-ring binder, index card, or computerized system in place where you keep a master list or each guest’s name, the gift you received from him or her, the date of receipt, and the date you wrote the thank you note for the gift.

Your gift record organizer will become and invaluable reference for your future gift giving, as well as a useful memory aid to help you personally acknowledge the gifts of guests you see in person after the wedding.

Don’t wait until after the wedding to write all the thank you notes. For gifts that arrive prior to the wedding, try to write notes before the big day.

Pace yourself when writing notes. Set a goal of ten notes per day or week depending on what you can handle, in order to preserve your sanity and keep the messages in your notes fresh. Don’t feel that you have to get through all of them in a few sittings.

Keep in mind that modern brides aren’t solely responsible for writing the thank you notes. Grooms should do their share, too.

At a minimum, if you write the majority of the thank you notes, assign your groom the tasks of licking and stamping envelopes, helping you come up with catchy thank you phrases, and mailing them (if you fully trust that he will!).

If there are certain guests that only one of you knows well (for instance, one of your bosses, a college roommate, or a childhood friend), that person should write the note.

For gifts that are solely monetary, it is nice to include in your thank you note what you plan to do with the money. For example, if you are putting it toward something big or using it to save for the future, indicate that in your note.

If a gift does not have a card attached, immediately contact the store where it was purchased (if that information is available.) They may have a record of the purchaser. If not, after you have recorded all of your other gifts and noted who gave them to you, see if you can figure out by process of elimination who gave you the mystery gift.

If you receive a gift and you are not certain of its use or even what it is, contact the store where it was purchased (if that is evident) to see if they can assist you.

If you aren’t able to determine what some gifts are, in your thank you notes, just thank the givers for their generous gifts, and use the remaining space to discuss the givers’ role in your wedding celebration—or, if they did not attend, cite some wedding highlights.

Etiquette states that guests have up to one year from the wedding date to purchase your gift. So don’t be surprised if gifts dribble in for months after your wedding.

Always write a thank you note for any gift received.