Wedding Invitations

In terms of gift-related Wedding Etiquette issues, I’ve known engaged couples who, as the saying goes, “have everything they need.” I can think of one couple, especially, who had more serving sets, bedding, and you-name-it than they could possibly use or even fit into their small condo.

Then, I knew another then-soon-to-be-married who were “just starting out.” He was in debt due to college tuition loans, and she was still figuring out what type of career path she wanted to pursue.

In both cases, some of us inquired discreetly about what the best gift would be. Despite the stark differences in the two couple’s economic circumstances, we decided to give them cash.

But what if we didn’t have the foresight to ask each of these bride’s siblings what we should give as a wedding present? Considering that the cash preference was obvious for both couples, what if- in the absence of our inquiries- they expressed a preference for cash gifts?

One word. Presumptuous. But that doesn’t mean such a request can’t be communicated with at least some dignity.

On the Bliss! Weddings website, editor “Cheryl” broaches this subject.

“What is the proper way to ask for cash gifts?,” writes a reader.

“Etiquettely-speaking, there is no proper way to ask for cash gifts,” Cheryl writes. “Gifts are not mandatory and by requesting “cash only” you are being presumptious. Instead of stating your request in any type of invitation, have family and friends spread the word by mouth.”

That sounds like worthy advice. My cousin’s daughter is getting married in a few months. She’s a doctor. They have everything- but given the price of gas these days- what about a check or even a few 20’s to pay at the pump?

(Bliss! Weddings)