Wedding Invitations

Considering the increasing number of workplace romances that result in marriage, it’s not surprising that a new topic of conversation is becoming all the more off-limits while at the office:  weddings. 

It’s not just wedding etiquette experts who say this, either…it’s also employers and co-workers, too.  Why would it be that the wedding of an employee or co-worker would be not a good idea to discuss at the office?  To begin with, happy event though it is, it’s unlikely that the wedding is a business-related issue, unless working for a florist, bakery, wedding planner, or other similar wedding industry business.

A couple’s wedding guest list is a major reason why etiquette frowns upon overdiscussing a wedding at the office.  Many couples are not able to afford to invite every single co-worker (and their spouses) to their reception, which is perfectly understandable in some ways, but hurtful to those not invited nonetheless.  Sometimes couples solve this problem by inviting just the boss (and spouse) and their closest workplace friend and spouse.  Etiquette experts say that inviting the boss can be a good idea, because an employee’s relationship with his boss is important, and this could be a good way to strengthen it. However, please do realize that, if you can’t stand being in your boss’ presence, don’t feel obligated to send an invite.

When a co-worker asks about the wedding, it’s generally best to give vague replies, such as, “it’s going very well, thank you.”  If a co-worker is upset about being left out of the wedding, explain that you value their friendship. But because you are having a small wedding you’re restricted.

For some people (including several that I know very well), shedding a tear or two or twenty-two at a wedding is a normal thing. These tears aren’t signs of major woe or regret, but are instead a natural byproduct of that happy little thrill of joy that we get from seeing a happy couple joined together in marriage. Some people don’t even need to personally know the newlyweds to start welling up, nor do the newlyweds even need to be real people (but instead be characters in a movie or even book) to cue the crying. Whether it’s Princess Diana’s wedding, the latest celebrity wedding on the cover of the tabloid magazines, or your college roommate’s wedding, the odds are good that you’ll find onlookers who are dabbing away the tears with a handkerchief.

Wedding etiquette experts and books don’t have much to say about shedding tears at a wedding, although one would imagine that it would be best to follow common sense. For instance, etiquette would surely frown upon wiping away one’s tears with the bride’s veil, even if it’s very handy.

An interesting thing is that there is an old wedding superstition about brides and tears. It says that the bride is not supposed to cry on her wedding day, prior to the ceremony, but is free to weep (with joy, of course) following the vows. Why is this? Well, superstition (and not wedding etiquette!) contends that plentiful tears proves that the bride is not a witch, as witches were said to be only able to cry three single tears from her left eye. Good to know!