Wedding Invitations

Once upon a time, wedding invitations were not sent out with response cards included.  Sometimes, you will still see those wedding invitations today that go out sans response cards from time to time.  Back then, etiquette frowned upon such enclosures with the invitations, but in those days, wedding guests automatically wrote little notes on their own notepaper to accept the invitation. 

In today’s very busy and fast-paced world, those little personal notes simply were not getting written — therefore, we saw wedding etiquette evolve and now give the okay to send out response cards with invitations.  But it’s interesting how, for the most part, wedding etiquette regarding response cards isn’t really terribly strict.  You see, there isn’t a “correct” way of response card wording. Instead, there are styles that are more appropriate for a formal wedding, and those best suited to a casual affair.  Taking the time to ensure your response card matches the type and tone of not only your wedding but wedding invitation as well is a nice thing to do…and, happily, part of staying in-line with etiquette.

As many brides know, those reply envelopes arriving in the mail make for a daily little moment of excitement in the many months’ worth of wedding planning.  Every “yes” was a thrill and every “no” was a disappointment, but when I was a bride, I was happy to receive each and every envelope in the mail.  So there’s pros and cons to both ways of wedding planning.

Many of my married friends have a habit of reading the wedding and engagement announcements in the newspaper. It’s so nice to look at the couples’ photos and read about them and how happily they are anticipating their future together. Some days there’s not a lot of happy things in the newspaper; it’s such days that the happy wedding and engagement announcements are extra appreciated, I suspect!

For those of you planning your wedding and looking forward to seeing your own engagement or wedding announcement in the newspaper, you may be unsure of either the process or wedding etiquette of the announcements. First off, contact your local newspaper to find out their guidelines for submitting announcements for publication; no matter how large or small the newspaper, they almost certainly have someone on staff whose job it is to help the new brides get their announcement printed. Some newspapers will print your announcement and photo for free, while others will ask for a fee depending upon the length of the announcement itself and possibly the size of the photo. Some newspapers have a strict policy of not printing announcements until after the wedding has taken place. It is because of this wide variety of policies among newspapers that the best place to begin is to call the newspaper to talk to the person in charge of announcements.

Here’s the thing:  no matter where you stand on wedding etiquette, whether you write your own announcement, fill in a form with the pertinent facts (names, wedding date and location, etc.), or something in between, be sure to buy extra copies of the newspaper the day your announcement is printed. It’s nice to have a clipping of the announcement as a keepsake.

There are many people for whom shedding a tear or two or twenty-two at a wedding is a normal thing. These tears aren’t signs of major woe or regret, but are instead a natural byproduct of that happy little thrill of joy that we get from seeing a happy couple joined together in marriage. Some people don’t even need to personally know the newlyweds to start welling up, nor do the newlyweds even need to be real people (but instead be characters in a movie or even book) to cue the crying. Whether it’s Princess Diana’s wedding, the latest celebrity wedding on the cover of the tabloid magazines, or your college roommate’s wedding, the odds are good that you’ll find onlookers who are dabbing away the tears with a handkerchief.

Wedding etiquette experts and books don’t have much to say about shedding tears at a wedding, although one would imagine that it would be best to follow common sense. For instance, etiquette would surely frown upon wiping away one’s tears with the bride’s veil, even if it’s very handy.

An interesting thing is that there is an old wedding superstition about brides and tears. It says that the bride is not supposed to cry on her wedding day, prior to the ceremony, but is free to weep (with joy, of course) following the vows. Why is this? Well, superstition (and not wedding etiquette!) contends that plentiful tears proves that the bride is not a witch, as witches were said to be only able to cry three single tears from her left eye. Now that is some helpful information to have.

Even if you’re not a matchy-matchy person, you’re likely to see the wisdom in the following wedding planning advice.  Brides, when you set out to select your wedding invitation, it’s important to have it ‘go with’ the rest of the wedding.  I’m not necessarily talking about themes, but it is a good idea (not to mention thoughtful and part of wedding etiquette) to have it play nicely with the rest of the wedding details.

To begin with, think of your guests. A wedding invitation is sort of a preview of coming attractions of sorts for your prospective wedding guests.  Even if you have a wedding website, blog, or message board set up for your guests, trust me, there are going to be guests who wouldn’t know a blog if it bit them.  For these guests in particular, your wedding invitation gives them a very good idea of what to expect from your wedding.  An invitation with seashells and a casual font would imply that the wedding might be a laidback, maybe even barefoot, wedding on the beach.  On the other hand, an invitation with engraving and the most formal of formal wording, describing an evening wedding ceremony and a sit-down dinner reception at the swankiest hotel in the city would suggest that the guests should probably dig their tuxedos and long evening gowns out of the closet.

Remembering your guests and their comfort is part of your wedding, after all.  Etiquette is not just for grandmothers, it’s for all of us.  Your wedding guests will certainly appreciate getting advance notice of what to expect from your wedding.

Contact local papers, church-affiliated bulletins, college alumni magazines or newsletters, and even your fraternity/sorority organization magazine to share your happy news. Often they publish weekly or monthly announcements of engagements and weddings.

Some magazines or papers will print only wedding announcements, not engagement news. Keep a list of these so you can send them a wedding photo and news after the fact.

Check to see if your newspaper will print a picture of you and your fiancé. This will be a super souvenir for your scrapbook.

When do you need wedding announcements?
If your circle of friends and relatives is larger than the list you intend to
invite to you wedding ceremony, or if you have a private wedding, you will want
to send an announcement of your wedding in the place of wedding invitations.

Also if you are having a destination wedding, obviously many of your friends
will not be able to attend. In this case you would want to send out wedding
announcements to let them know that you got married. You might include an
invitation for a celebration back home which they could attend to help you
celebrate at a later date.

Why is it proper to send wedding announcements?
Wedding Announcements include the wedding date, but never the time or location
of ceremony. They should be mailed the day of the wedding.

Should you send out Save the date cards? If so, why and when should it be done?
We often get the question: Why should you send out "Save the Date Cards" ahead of time rather than just send out your wedding invitations early?

Many times sending out your invitations eight weeks in advance will be sufficient; however, it’s a good idea to give family and friend as much notice as possible of the coming event. This is especially true if you have many out of town guests, your wedding is scheduled around any holiday or if you are planning a destination wedding where long distance travel plans would be involved.

It is recommended that if you do decide to send "Save the Date" cards out, that they go out three to four months in advance of the wedding. You can use any wedding invitation you see on our site as a "Save the Date" card.

Over the next dozen blog entries, I wll discuss the different elements of your wedding invitation ensemble and accessory items  -  what you need, when and why. First of all there are the:
Engagement Announcements -
When you need them - Becasue of school, military service or other plans, your wedding date may be far in the future. If you want people to know you are engaged, send out an Engagement Announcement using the Wedding Invitation format.
Why it’s proper - Either formal or informal copy is proper to let people know your exciting news.

Are you creative when it comes to being romantic?  Most of us aren’t. This is the traditional day in which lovers express their love for each other with cards, and candy and/or flowers, and a special meal.

It’s certainly a great day for the retail industry not to mention the postal service. According to Wikepedia, the Greeting Card Association estimates that approximately one billion valentines are sent each year worldwide, making Valentine’ day the second largest card-sending holiday of the year, second only to Christmas. They also estimate that women purchase approximately 85% of all valentines.
 
While it’s nice to do something special for your special someone on this day - you better because it is expected and you don’t want to be a scrooge - but it is even more meaningful it you can plan a repeat performace when it is least expected. To get some romantic ideas, check out our book resources here: Recommended Reading. Because they are ebooks, you con download them and immediately apply what you read.

You’ve done it! You’re married! All your hard work and
preparation has been worth it all. I hope that your day was glorious!

• Now just enjoy your
  honeymoon!
• Contact a Flower Preservation
  Vendor to preserve your Bouquet.
• Contact a Gown Preservation
  Vendor to hand clean, press and preserve your bridal gown.
• Finish writing your thank you
  notes.
• Take care of any legal
  concerns you didn’t get to before the wedding such as name and address
  changes.

• If no one has already done something like this for you as a wedding gift, take
  one of your left over wedding invitations and preserve it in some way either by
  framing it in some way or have it applied to a plaque or waxed onto a large
  display candle.

• Start your new life as husband and wife. There will definitely be some
  adjustments to be made. New issues will develop - many good, some not so
  good.  One thing to keep in mind is the importance of focusing on the
  positive and good things about your spouse and being willing to forgive. As
  good as your intentions are, there will be times that you will disappoint one
  another, and it is very important to be able to forgive and move on. Have fun!