Wedding Invitations

Some might view a wedding registry as perfection, not to mention a very convenient way for your wedding guests to send a token in celebration of your marriage.  But some might not.  There are those who think that a wedding registry is the height of rudeness and presumption, to assume that guests will want to buy super-expensive items for your home.  There is a middle ground of course.

In general, though, wedding registries are now found acceptable in terms of wedding etiquette.  Brides should appreciate hearing that most etiquette experts recommend calculating the number of gifts based on the number of guests at both your wedding and shower (or showers).  Just be sure to only choose items that you will love, use and cherish. Guests would rather give you cash than buy something you’ll never touch.

Do also remember that a basic rule of thumb is to give guests a range of options. You want a sprinkling of high-end, expensive items and then an equal number of mid- and low-priced options. Having a few higher-end items on your registry allows close people like your grandparents or parents to buy a larger gift.  Of course,  inexpensive items are an essential part of a registry and make a great pool for shower gifts. When you do pick lower-priced items, be sure to choose gifts that people will actually want to give.

Finally, etiquette experts remind us that a hugely important part of the wedding registry would be the thank-you notes written by the bride and groom (okay, probably the bride).  Thank you cards can start going out as soon as gifts are received. In fact, writing your thank you cards in small batches will help you get a handle on a major time task and help keep track of who gave what gift. Technically,according to traditional etiquette rule, you have up to one year from the date of the wedding to write and send your thank you cards. It’s also acceptable to send one card for both the wedding and shower gift, but you should mention both items in your note. Don’t forget the stamps!

we all know that weddings — besides the obvious — are wonderful opportunities to reunite with faraway friends and family. Taking your guests’ comfort and enjoyment into consideration when making arrangements for your wedding is a very thoughtful thing for any bride to do. Of course, this does not remove the wedding guests from any responsibilities on your wedding day. 

While some of your guests (or even members of the wedding party) may want to rebel against etiquette, wedding or otherwise, the fact of the matter is that when the wedding guests are considerate, thoughtful, and happy for the newlyweds, the day is a joyful one for all involved.

In general, wedding etiquette asks a few but important things of the guests.  That guests respond promptly to the wedding invitation, that guests arrive a little early for the wedding ceremony, and that guests enjoy themselves in moderation at the reception.  Single wedding guests should not assume, without first asking the bridal couple, that they ought to bring a date.  And while it’s often convenient for a guest to bring their wedding gift with them on the special day, it’s generally frowned upon as it creates more confusion and burdens on the wedding party.  So you can see and understand now just how much of the etiquette for wedding guests is really quite reasonable and actually very sensible, and makes the wedding day a memorable and enjoyable one for everyone.

For anyone who loves planning parties, you are definitely going to love planning your wedding.  This is because you’re probably not just going to be planning the wedding itself, but also any related parties such as engagement parties, rehearsal dinners, and perhaps even a bridesmaid luncheon.

Remember, everything needs an invitation, not just the wedding!  Bridal showers need invitations, engagement parties need invitations, rehearsal dinners need invitations.  Many couples are now putting together a full weekend of events for their guests in addition to the wedding, with such things as casual barbeques the day before for their attendants, or day-after family style brunch as a sort of sendoff for the honeymooners.  And those events need invitations, too.

You know — or maybe you didn’t — wedding etiquette (not to mention common sense) suggests that you make sure that your invitation includes the basics of the event — and that they are crystal clear for the guests.  Time, date, location, and perhaps any dress code or suggestions should absolutely, without fail, be appearing on an invitation. And, of course, it’s best to be absolutely sure to send out invitations well enough in advance of your bridal shower or wedding for your prospective guests to plan accordingly (especially any guests who are coming in from out of town).  Etiquette helps everyone involved to enjoy themselves in comfort.  Now, go start planning and look forward to those lovely parties.

Soon to be wed and wondering about rings and wedding etiquette? Well, there aren’t really any hard and fast rules about the rings. Contrary to what some might believe, in engagement ring etiquette there is no rule that states that if a ring is worn it has to be a diamond. Additionally, there is no rule that an engagement ring must be worn at all for an engagement to be official.

There’s no question that many people consider an engagement ring to be absolutely compulsory, but by no means is it required according to either etiquette or the law. As far as wedding rings go, once again, it’s more tradition than etiquette that has the bride-to-be purchasing her fiancee’s wedding band while he purchases her wedding band.

Couples today often like to select matching wedding bands, matching either in style or type of metal (such as white gold, platinum, titanium, tungsten, or yellow gold settings). Be sure you like them, because you’ll be looking at them on your hands for a long, long time to come!

While there’s a lot of excitement for the bride and groom on a wedding day, I can tell you that the “old married couples” find weddings just as exciting to attend.  For one thing, it’s a wonderful reminder of your own wedding day — whether that was five, fifteen, or fifty years ago. And if it so happens to be your own wedding anniversary, too?  It’s extra special to think back on that beautiful and very happy day when you were the brand-new newlyweds.

Unfortunately, it’s not entirely common for people to commemorate many wedding anniversaries other than the former bride and groom. Some mother-in-laws remember and send a card while other sisters or best friends offer to babysit the anniversary couple’s kids to pave the way for a special anniversary dinner. But it’s rare that a couple will receive happy anniversary wishes from others–and what a shame that is!

We feel strongly that every anniversary deserves celebrating and while many wedding etiquette guides aren’t likely to demand that friends and family send anniversary greetings or congratulations to couples for the rest of their lives…it sure would be a nice thing to happen, wouldn’t it? We think it’s a nice gesture to remember those couples celebrating an anniversary, even at your own wedding and own your own “day.”  After all, honoring a happily married couple’s anniversary will make everyone feel special, and who doesn’t love seeing evidence of the endurance of love over time? Again, it’s not required by wedding etiquette, but it definitely is a thoughtful thing to do, to make it a beautiful day for everyone in attendance.  It’s making us teary-eyed just thinking about it.

It might sound like a silly question, but it’s a valid one, too.  Can you have a wedding without flowers?  You can, of course, but the flowers really do make the special day an extra bit more special, don’t they?  

Many new brides-to-be might be wondering about the etiquette involved in selecting wedding flowers and we’d like to help clear up any confusion that might be out there.  Both tradition and wedding etiquette suggests that the groom himself give the bride her bouquet as a gift, as well as the flowers for the bridal couple’s mothers and grandmothers and the groomsmen’s boutonnieres.

The good news is that no matter how large or small a wedding is, one thing that is almost guaranteed to be a part of the day are the flowers.  Flowers adorning the church door, scattered by the flower girl, worn proudly as a corsage by the mother of the groom, and of course carried happily by the joyful bride, there’s no question that weddings and flowers go together and make a winning combination.

Traditionally, the bride takes care of ceremony and reception flowers as well as the bridesmaids’ bouquets.  Another lovely gift of flowers you could make together would be to send flowers to family members who are unable to attend the wedding due to distance or poor health.  If you are planning on honoring your mothers and grandmothers and other special women in your lives, definitely mark down corsages for these ladies.  It’s a good idea to add in a few extras for any you might have inadvertently overlooked).  Also think about what flowers to order for the reception site, the ceremony site, the rehearsal dinner site, and of course the flowers for the wedding party.

We’re all ridiculously busy these days, so time is of the essence, especially when planning a wedding.  What do you need to know about wedding planning or even just weddings in general?  Turn to a wedding etiquette expert.

You see, one wonderfully handy thing about wedding etiquette is that it makes it very easy to find information about every detail of a wedding, from the very largest to the very smallest detail.  No matter what, the odds are good that you’ll find that wedding etiquette has an opinion on the matter. Many don’t realize it, but there’s even etiquette regarding the wedding and the engagement ring. 

Etiquette says that the wedding band must not be put above the engagement ring.  The wedding band is worn at the base of the finger with the engagement ring (if any) immediately following, as if to stand guard.  On her wedding day a bride either leaves her engagement ring at home when she goes to the church or she wears it on her right hand.   She should switch it back to her left hand following the ceremony.

Want another example of wedding etiquette in action? That’s easy, let’s look at seating in the church. Members of the two families and a few most interested friends are seated in the front reserved pews.  All of the other guests are seated according to the general rule of first come first served.   It would be most helpful to have someone in the vestibule to identify family members and point these out to the ushers so that the proper seating is achieved.  The groom’s mother is escorted up the aisle on the arm of an usher, usually the head usher,with the groom’s father following behind.  They are seated in the second pew on the right. The first pew remains empty.  The bride’s mother is then escorted to her seat.  No person should be seated after the entrance of the mother of the bride. So you can see, while some might think wedding etiquette is outdated, the truth is that it’s a helpful guide for many brides today.

Wedding cakes have been a part of weddings for just about as long as brides, grooms, and even wedding etiquette. Did you know, for instance, that many hundreds of years ago, wedding guests each brought a small cake, which were stacked on the table in levels and layers. This wasn’t just potluck dessert: if the bride and groom were able to kiss over the top of the stack it was considered good luck.

Nowadays, it’s not unusual to find a second cake at a wedding reception: the groom’s cake. The groom’s cake can serve many purposes, from dessert at the rehearsal dinner, to an alternative choice to the wedding cake at a reception. It’s customary for the groom’s cake to be displayed next to the bride’s cake, and later cut and put into boxes for guests to take home. Legend says that single women are supposed to sleep with a slice under their pillow the same night they receive it — and if they do, they will dream of their future husband. Boxed slices of groom’s cake can also serve as wedding favors.

While wedding etiquette doesn’t specify who may cut the groom’s cake, you and your groom may decide to honor the groom’s cake as they do the wedding cake, and cut the first piece together.  It’s up to you if you want to be nice when feeding eachother the cake or if you’ll be a little more mischievious and get a little frosting on one anothers’ faces.

Raise your hand if you’re newly engaged and are beginning to feel overwhelmed! It’s not at all unusual to feel overwhelmed at the thought of all there is to do to plan your wedding.  If you are unsure of where to begin, let us help out. We thought we’d give a few pointers to get you started, as well as a reminder that it won’t go on forever and all that hard work will result in a beautiful day for you and your future spouse to remember for years to come.

It might seem obvious, but you’d be surprised at how many people get stuck on this one:  selecting the date, or even just the month or season, of the wedding.   You don’t necessarily have to have a firm date and time squared away within 72 hours of that engagement ring going on your finger, that’s definitely not in any wedding etiquette or planning guides, but a general idea of how much time you’ll have to plan this wedding is a handy thing to have, both for you and for your family and other members of your wedding party. Have you always dreamed of a spring wedding? Or perhaps the thought of a Christmas wedding gets your heart racing. These are the kinds of date-setting we’re talking about. From there, you can go on to pick locations for both ceremony and reception, wedding gowns, flowers, and bridesmaid dresses. But without the date, you can’t make very many firm plans.

It’s important to also keep in mind that many wedding-related items must be ordered months in advance, such as the gowns and the wedding invitations. Factor in that wedding etiquette also advises that it’s best to send invitations out anywhere between one to two months before the wedding, and you’ll quickly see that there’s a lot more planning involved than you might have originally thought.  Let’s get started!

Do you head off to a friend or family members wedding armed with a big pack of tissues for when you begin to cry at the ceremony?  Don’t be embarrassed, you’re not alone!  There are many people for whom shedding a tear or two or twenty-two at a wedding is a normal thing. These tears aren’t signs of major woe or regret, but are instead a natural byproduct of that happy little thrill of joy that we get from seeing a happy couple joined together in marriage.

We learned an interesting thing recently:  there is an old wedding superstition about brides and tears. It says that the bride is not supposed to cry on her wedding day, prior to the ceremony, but is free to weep (with joy, of course) following the vows. Why is this? Well, superstition (and not wedding etiquette!) contends that plentiful tears proves that the bride is not a witch, as witches were said to be only able to cry three single tears from her left eye. Now that is some helpful information to have.

Some people don’t even need to personally know the newlyweds to start welling up, nor do the newlyweds even need to be real people (but instead be characters in a movie or even book) to cue the crying. Whether it’s a royal wedding, the latest celebrity wedding on the cover of the tabloid magazines, or your college roommate’s wedding, the odds are good that you’ll find onlookers who are dabbing away the tears with a handkerchief. Wedding etiquette experts and books don’t have much to say about shedding tears at a wedding, although one would imagine that it would be best to follow common sense. For instance, etiquette would surely frown upon wiping away one’s tears with the bride’s veil, even if it’s very handy.