Wedding Invitations

As I do research and learn more about wedding etiquette, I realize all the wedding etiquette boo boo’s I’ve personally made.  

The one that stands out the most in my memory is when I was the matron of honor at my sisters wedding. Being told we would all get a chance to eat, I purposely didn’t eat very much earlier that day. It was also going to be very convenient that I wouldn’t have to drag snacks around with me all day. Besides, I wanted to make sure I had an appetite for the amazing food she had ordered.   

Well, the problem was that no one communicated to me how any of it was going to work that day. Next thing I know, I’m standing in the never ending wedding party line as my blood sugar’s dropping and I begin slurring my words. I’m sure the guests probably thought I was the lush of the family. 

Knowing it would be rude and bad wedding etiquette to leave the line, I whispered to another line member “when are we planning on ending the line so we can get nourishment?” She then broke the news to me that we probably wouldn’t get a chance to eat and indicated the line would keep going for much longer. 

I finally got to the point where I was going to pass out and “broke” the line to get my blood sugar back up. I actually heard some gasps because that is a big no no. I felt like hiding under a rock, but what could I do? Within a few minutes after that they decided to break the line up and eat.  

The good news is I made everyone realize enough is enough and it’s time to end the line.  The bad news is that now I’m forever remembered as the rude family “lush” who broke the line. What can a girl do? Sighhhhh.

Being late as a wedding guest is one thing but being late as the bride, groom or a wedding part member….Yikes. With all the chaos it happens quite often. At least if you’re a late guest, it won’t hold up the wedding. However, it will hold up the wedding if you’re part of the wedding, thus affecting everyone.

There’s almost always that one person who forgets something and has to run back to get it. I once knew of a bride who was so stressed and nervous, she actually forgot her wedding dress. Someone ran back to the house to retrieve it (which took an hour each direction). The guests were getting very restless and irritated. Some even left for various reasons. They either had somewhere else to be or the kids were getting hungry, cranky and wild.    

The tips for being on time for the bride, groom and wedding party are very much the same as for guests. Here they are:
• First and foremost, plan ahead.
• Make a checklist of every item needed and everything you need to do. Follow that list as if your life depended on it. Do not rely on memory.
• Have everything ready to go for the next day. Have clothes laid out, make up and hair stuff in one spot, etc.
• Leave early.
• Check the weather forecast the day before to plan ahead for weather that could slow you down.  
• Check the traffic report before leaving and take the path of least resistance.
• Know where you’re going ahead of time. 

Thank you for joining us in our wedding etiquette blog this week. Have a great weekend.

Being late is a big wedding etiquette no no mainly because of the disruptive factor. Often times when guests are late for the ceremony and attempt to find a seat during the ceremony, it can be very distracting, especially if there are doors being opened, closed, opened, closed, opened, closed, and so on.

Here are some tips for guests to make it on time:
• First and foremost, plan ahead.
• Have everything ready to go for the next day. Have clothes laid out, make up and hair stuff in one spot, etc.
• Even make a check list of things to do that day and follow it.
• Leave early. Better to be early than late.
• Check the weather forecast the day before. If it says rain or snow, you’ll want to give yourself some extra time. All too often people don’t give themselves the extra needed time, still drive fast in the hazardous weather conditions and end up in an accident. That defeats the purpose. 
• Check the traffic report before leaving and take the path of least resistance.
• Avoid getting lost. Look at the map and directions BEFORE the very last second. If feasible, drive to the location days prior to the wedding just so you know where it’s at. Mapquest.com is also a great tool for directions within the United States.

Now if you’re the bride, groom or part of the wedding party that’s a whole other discussion. We’ll discuss that tomorrow.

Continuing on from yesterdays wedding etiquette blog I would like discuss more on the wedding party.

When choosing your wedding party, you’ll want to pick people who will follow direction and are polite.  Despite contrary belief politeness and etiquette aren’t always common sense to everyone.  Therefore I recommend doing a little etiquette training with your wedding party and go over a few details and expectations. There’s everything from walking down the isle to table manners. You want wedding singers not wedding belchers.

Remember to keep the lines of communication open! Don’t assume everyone knows what to do. One of the biggest things to go over is the chain of events and how things are going to run that day.  It can be very discouraging for the wedding party if they don’t know where they’re suppose to be and when, or even what’s expected of them.

If there are children in the wedding party, be sure they know what’s appropriate and what’s not. Have the parents reinforce this with them too. For some reason some children will actually listen better to someone who’s not their parent.

Remember your wedding party needs nourishment and sit down time.  Let them know when they will be able to do this so you don’t have people leaving the line and chowing down because they don’t see light at the end of the tunnel.

I know this is the last thing you want to worry about, so I must say, really pick your wedding party carefully.

Who to have in the bridal party can sometimes be a difficult decision, especially if you know many people and you don’t want to offend anyone. 

If you’re lucky you only know a few females. But what happens when your sisters, soon to be sister in-laws, cousins, friends and other gals you know, all feel they should be in the bridal party?

I’ve actually heard of some situations that got so out of control, people had to draw names from a hat. This way every potential bridal party member knew it was random and felt better about the decision.  It’s no wonder people elope ;0).

Sure you can have up to twenty five people in the wedding party, but keep in mind the more people in the bridal party, the more people there are to please. For example, the more women in your bridal party, the harder it is to find a dress that works for everyone.
Another thing to consider is are you going to have them stand in a line and have everyone shake their hand? That could take a very long time and people may get annoyed (both the bridal party and the guests). 

Unfortunately in many situations, regardless of what you do it’s inevitable there will usually be someone who’s hurt or offended. You can’t have everyone in the bridal party and people should understand that.

An understanding of wedding etiquette is a big deal for the bridal party, as everyone will notice them. Be sure to discuss the do’s and don’ts and how things are going to go on your big day.

For the wedding rehearsal (which will probably be earlier on the day of the rehearsal dinner), have baseball caps or T-shirts printed with “bride” and “groom” for you and your fiancé to wear. You may even want to make versions for other wedding party members, such as your bridesmaid of the mother of the groom.

Take it one step further and have your wedding date and the bride and groom’s names printed on them as well. They’ll make for cute photos and keepsakes.

Don’t forget to bring your mock bouquet as a prop to carry down the aisle; have one of your bridesmaids make is using the ribbons from your wedding shower gifts.

Have snacks and beverages available for members of the wedding party. Light finger foods, clear carbonated sodas, and fresh fruit are good sugar boosts on hot days. The rehearsal can be exhausting, and snacks can keep everyone on their toes and energized. Also have these foods available on the wedding day.

If you have hired a wedding consultant, you should generally defer to him or her at the rehearsal, buy speak up if there is something you are unclear about or don’t like.

Your wedding consultant has attended and coordinated many more weddings than you’ll ever experience so let him or her take charge and save you from having to boss around the wedding party. In other words, let him or her be the bad guy (if one is necessary).

As a wedding party planning bachelor and bachelorette activities, dress the bride or groom in a way that distinguishes her or him from the rest of the wedding party and other guests. Something as simple as a headband with white fabric attached to represent a wedding veil for the bride, or a “groom” sign hung around the neck of the groom, will make her or him feel embarrassed and the center of attention. (Even a baseball cap emblazoned with “bride” or “groom” will do!)

A scavenger hunt is a great activity. Have the bride or groom pose for pictures with members of the opposite sex that you encounter throughout the evening. The bride or groom can be required to collect naughty things from these folks such as an article of clothing, a kiss on the cheek, or an autograph.

Bring an instant camera with you on your night out to record the highlights of your evening. Later on, write captions on the pictures to chronicle the activities, and put them in a small album for the bride or groom as a momento.

A disposable camera will also do; just be sure to take it to a one-hour photo processing service so you’ll get your pictures back quickly.

As members of the wedding party, you will want to plan a bachelor and bachelorette party for your bride and groom. Bars and striptease clubs are becoming outdated as couples of the new millennium become more progressive and less sexist.

Consider these ideas instead: a spa or golf club weekend getaway; a wine-tasting locale; a live sporting event or sports bar; a weekend at a beach house or ski lodge; a Las Vegas trip; a retro disco-dancing club; a karaoke bar; a Western theme bar with an electric bull and line dancing; a funky new restaurant or comedy club (be sure to let the staff know who the bachelor and bachelorette is, so her or she can be razzed!); or a ceramics-painting studio where partygoers can drink wine and decorate items for the couples new home.

Microbreweries can be rented out for groups to brew and bottle their own beer. Some establishments even have personalized label-making capabilities, so the bride and groom’s names and wedding date can be printed on the bottles.

Coed bachelor and bachelorette parties are also becoming a trend. Everyone’s friends can celebrate together by playing a coed softball game or a round robin volleyball tournament, renting a boat and hanging out on the water, having a beach barbeque, joining in a men versus women scavenger hunt, or enjoying another fun gathering.

If possible, plan the parties in advance of the wedding weekend—preferably several weeks or months in advance. That way no one suffers hangovers, exhaustion, or hard feelings on the weekend of the actual wedding.

Be sure to hire a limousine or van, or at least assign a responsible designated driver, to chauffeur the party-goers. It is usually better to hire a drive than to rely on a friend, since finding parking as you more from place to place can be time consuming and will prevent that person from sharing completely in the fun.

Ahhh, the parties—and there will be many: one or more showers, the bachelor and bachelorette parties, the wedding rehearsal, and the rehearsal dinner, to name a few. But don’t worry: You and your fiancé are the stars of the show, and these festive events resolve around you. Just keep your sense of humor and your wits about you, celebrate your love for each other, and enjoy the fun!

Bridesmaids and groomsmen, close friends of the bride and groom, or relatives of the couple’s parents typically give a bridal shower or two for the bride, or couple’s showers for both, and usually organize the bachelorette party and the bachelor party, respectively.

You’ll likely be intimately involved in planning the wedding rehearsal, rehearsal dinner, and actual wedding on the other hand, unless you’ve hired a wedding consultant.

Rehearsing for the big day and seeing the wedding party and out-of-town guests all together at the rehearsal dinner will be your final reminders that your wedding day is almost here.

Have a “girls’ day” the day of the wedding (or the day before if you have an early morning wedding), during which you do things like getting your hair and makeup done together and indulging in other types of pampering such as massages, manicures, and pedicures.

Get dressed together as a wedding party. It is fun to prepare for your big day with your closest girlfriends there to share it.

Assign a bridesmaid to carry your lipstick and to be in charge of other essential items for you on the day of the wedding.

Prepare a wedding day Bride’s Survival Kit (some call it a “Must Have Disaster Kit) for yourself that includes items such as lipstick, bobby pins, hair spray, a compact mirror, a comb or brush, stockings, clear nail polish for pantyhose runs, a travel sewing kit for emergency repairs, a piece of white chalk or white medical tape for any accidents that may happen to your wedding dress (makeup smudges, food spillage, loose fabric that needs to be held down, and so on), deodorant, extra copies of any passages or speeches that people will be reading at the wedding, eye drops, aspirin, bandages, a nail file, breath mints, tampons, tissues, and any other essentials that you may need.

You may want to stash the kit under the sink in the bathroom you will be using or with your maid of honor’s items so she can be in charge of it.