Wedding Invitations

Let’s get away for a wedding!  These days, you’ll find that a destination wedding is more of a common concept and countless island resorts and cruise lines are definitely making it easier for the couple wanting a destination wedding – many such places even have an in-house wedding coordinator to make everything all that much easier on the bride and groom.

No question about it, it’s appealing to many people, and as a result, many engaged couples today are opting for a simple getaway, or destination, wedding.   Some of these couples see it as a way to combine wedding ceremony and honeymoon into one, while others feel that the intimate and relaxing atmosphere of a destination wedding is the ideal part.

It’s not all simple, though.  A part of destination wedding planning that isn’t necessarily easier for the bride and groom is putting together the guest list.  Space for guests is typically very limited but at the same time, it’s all too easy to run the risk of offending friends or family by not sending them an invitation, even if they weren’t going to be able to attend.  Although destination wedding etiquette is a fairly new concept, your guests will surely appreciate any efforts, large or small, that you might make towards their comfort and enjoyment.

Do remember that getaway weddings can take a little extra work is that when planning a very small wedding (barely any guests at all, even close family) you have a delicate etiquette dance to explain to friends and family who expect to be able to attend.  If you think some folks would be tremendously upset to learn they weren’t invited — even if no one was invited at all — then consider whether those hurt feelings are outweighed by your plans for an intimate wedding with just the bride and groom.  It may seem like it’s just one day, but if you’ll have to hear about how you left them out at the next 50 years’ worth of holiday dinners, you might want to consider this carefully.

Raise your hand if you’re newly engaged and are beginning to feel overwhelmed! It’s not at all unusual to feel overwhelmed at the thought of all there is to do to plan your wedding.  If you are unsure of where to begin, let us help out. We thought we’d give a few pointers to get you started, as well as a reminder that it won’t go on forever and all that hard work will result in a beautiful day for you and your future spouse to remember for years to come.

It might seem obvious, but you’d be surprised at how many people get stuck on this one:  selecting the date, or even just the month or season, of the wedding.   You don’t necessarily have to have a firm date and time squared away within 72 hours of that engagement ring going on your finger, that’s definitely not in any wedding etiquette or planning guides, but a general idea of how much time you’ll have to plan this wedding is a handy thing to have, both for you and for your family and other members of your wedding party. Have you always dreamed of a spring wedding? Or perhaps the thought of a Christmas wedding gets your heart racing. These are the kinds of date-setting we’re talking about. From there, you can go on to pick locations for both ceremony and reception, wedding gowns, flowers, and bridesmaid dresses. But without the date, you can’t make very many firm plans.

It’s important to also keep in mind that many wedding-related items must be ordered months in advance, such as the gowns and the wedding invitations. Factor in that wedding etiquette also advises that it’s best to send invitations out anywhere between one to two months before the wedding, and you’ll quickly see that there’s a lot more planning involved than you might have originally thought.  Let’s get started!

Many new brides-to-be might be wondering about the etiquette involved in selecting wedding flowers and we’d like to help clear up any confusion that might be out there.  Both tradition and wedding etiquette suggests that the groom himself give the bride her bouquet as a gift, as well as the flowers for the bridal couple’s mothers and grandmothers and the groomsmen’s boutonnieres.

The good news is that no matter how large or small a wedding is, one thing that is almost guaranteed to be a part of the day are the flowers.  Flowers adorning the church door, scattered by the flower girl, worn proudly as a corsage by the mother of the groom, and of course carried happily by the joyful bride, there’s no question that weddings and flowers go together and make a winning combination.

Think about this question for a moment, what would you like to have at your wedding:  Roses? Hydrangeas? Peonies?  You are certainly not alone if you are feeling overwhelmed by sorting out the flowers for your wedding.  If you are planning on honoring your mothers and grandmothers and other special women in your lives, definitely mark down corsages for these ladies.  It’s a good idea to add in a few extras for any you might have inadvertently overlooked).  Also think about what flowers to order for the reception site, the ceremony site, the rehearsal dinner site, and of course the flowers for the wedding party. 

Traditionally, the bride takes care of ceremony and reception flowers as well as the bridesmaids’ bouquets.  Another lovely gift of flowers you could make together would be to send flowers to family members who are unable to attend the wedding due to distance or poor health.

Don’t be too quick to dismiss it as silly and outdated.  One wonderfully handy thing about wedding etiquette is that it makes it very easy to find information about every detail of a wedding, from the very largest to the very smallest detail. No matter what, the odds are good that you’ll find that wedding etiquette has an opinion on the matter.

Not sure you should believe us? Well, let’s take a closer look at some examples. Maybe you didn’t realize it but there’s etiquette regarding the wedding and the engagement ring. Etiquette says that the wedding band must not be put above the engagement ring. The wedding band is worn at the base of the finger with the engagement ring (if any) immediately following, as if to stand guard. On her wedding day a bride either leaves her engagement ring at home when she goes to the church or she wears it on her right hand. She should switch it back to her left hand following the ceremony.

Another good example of etiquette taking care of every last detail is a bride’s escort. The reason the bride is on her father’s right arm is that a gentleman’s right arm is the arm of courtesy. This even extends to the groomsmen or ushers. You know that it is the duty of the ushers to show all guests to their places. An usher offers his right arm to each female guest as she arrives, whether he knows her personally or not.  You now can see that while some might think wedding etiquette is outdated, the truth is that it’s a helpful guide for many brides today.

More on wedding etiquette on the following posts:

Etiquette for a Perfect Wedding - For a wonderful wedding day to commence for a couple there has to be some organization and precision to the events leading up to and during the ceremony. This includes knowing what the proper wedding etiquette for certain aspects of the …

Guy’s Guide to Wedding Etiquette - It was actually written by a dude too, and as such, I feel it is my duty to set the record straight on a few of the Dude’s rules (his are in blue) regarding wedding etiquette. What does “formal” mean? What’sa sweet gift? …

Wedding Etiquette - Like Beau-coup, they offer etiquette tips for everything related to the upcoming nupitals– if you haven’t checked out our articles yet, you might want to get some wedding planning ideas in our ideas and inspirations section. …

Wedding Etiquette: “Things Never to Do at a Wedding” - I came across an excellent article on Yahoo! today about wedding etiquette. Inspired, I’d like to share with you some of my thoughts on etiquette. I totally and completely agree with most things in the article, except for a few. …

Appreciate The Thoughtful Gestures Of Your Wedding Guests - … immediately upon receiving their wedding gift. I encourage you to include something personal about their attendance and what it meant to you to have them witness the happiest day of your life. Wedding Etiquette Advice by Claudia Lutman.

Newly engaged? The odds are good that you’re plenty overwhelmed at the thought of all there is to do to plan your wedding and you might not know where to begin. We thought we’d give a few pointers to get you started, as well as a reminder that it won’t go on forever and all that hard work will result in a beautiful day for you and your future spouse to remember for years to come.

Among the important things to decide early on would be the date of the wedding. You don’t necessarily have to have a firm date and time squared away within 72 hours of that engagement ring going on your finger, that’s definitely not in any wedding etiquette or planning guides, but a general idea of how much time you’ll have to plan this wedding is a handy thing to have, both for you and for your family and other members of your wedding party.

Have you always dreamed of a spring wedding? Or perhaps the thought of a Christmas wedding gets your heart racing. These are the kinds of date-setting we’re talking about. From there, you can go on to pick locations for both ceremony and reception, wedding gowns, flowers, and bridesmaid dresses. But without the date, you can’t make very many firm plans.

It’s important to also keep in mind that many wedding-related items must be ordered months in advance, such as the gowns and the wedding invitations. Factor in that wedding etiquette also advises that it’s best to send invitations out anywhere between one to two months before the wedding, and you’ll quickly see that there’s a lot more planning involved than you might have originally thought.

We’ve all done it.  We understand how easy for many brides in the middle of a wedding-planning whirlwind to momentarily forget that the wedding guests are just as important a part of the day as most other parts of the wedding.  After all, the wedding is a celebration and you and your groom look forward to celebrating your marriage with close friends and family.  Taking your guests’ comfort and enjoyment into consideration when making arrangements for your wedding is a very thoughtful thing for any bride to do. Of course, this does not remove the wedding guests from any responsibilities on your wedding day. 

Everyone knows a rebel, right?  Well, while some of your guests (or even members of the wedding party) may want to rebel against etiquette, wedding or otherwise, the fact of the matter is that when the wedding guests are considerate, thoughtful, and happy for the newlyweds, the day is a joyful one for all involved.

In general, wedding etiquette asks a few but important things of the guests.  That guests respond promptly to the wedding invitation, that guests arrive a little early for the wedding ceremony, and that guests enjoy themselves in moderation at the reception.  Single wedding guests should not assume, without first asking the bridal couple, that they ought to bring a date.  And while it’s often convenient for a guest to bring their wedding gift with them on the special day, it’s generally frowned upon as it creates more confusion and burdens on the wedding party.  So you can see and understand now just how much of the etiquette for wedding guests is really quite reasonable and actually very sensible, and makes the wedding day a memorable and enjoyable one for everyone.

They’re style icons, albeit occasionally reluctant ones.  Often times, those brides whose weddings are in the public eye (celebrities and royal weddings quickly come to mind) will sooner or later see their wedding gown designs admired and ultimately copied by other, non-royal brides.  Prime examples of this include Princess Diana’s wedding gown,  Jacqueline Kennedy’s wedding gown, or Caroline Bessette’s wedding gown.  Their wedding gown styles seemed to set wedding gown trends for their contemporaries for years to come and many still feel their styles are the pinnacles of classic wedding styles as well as wedding etiquette. The latest Royal bride, though, might not care so much about setting trends among fellow brides of her day. 

Queen Elizabeth II of England’s first grandchild, Peter Phillips, was married earlier this summer near Windsor Castle and his bride didn’t pull out all the stops for her once-in-a-lifetime Royal wedding gown. Instead of 20-foot trains or a gown studded with ten thousand sequins, the former Autumn Kelly chose a modest but flattering style of gown, perhaps as a nod to wedding etiquette, or perhaps to honor her grandmother-in-law the Queen’s fashion sensibilities. The Royal bride’s wedding gown was made of lace and duchesse satin and featured a modest neckline, A-line skirt and a short-sleeved lace bolero. 

Royal-watchers and fashion experts alike agree that the gown was quite lovely, but was unlikely to set any new trends in wedding gown fashions.  However, we feel that choosing a traditional style of gown is a trend that’s here to stay for brides on both sides of the pond. 

In today’s wedding etiquette blog, I would like to continue on with some thoughts from yesterday.

 Another feeling that swept over me while listening to some gentle Christmas music was “thank goodness for Christmas”. The overwhelming warm feeling that came over me, made me realized it’s a yearly refresher for me. It reminds me of why we have Christmas in the first place. It also reminds me of my family and my friends. It brings back the warm fuzzy feelings that always seemed to be there regardless of our struggles. If feel if it weren’t for Christmas, I feel would get caught up in every day life and forget those things. Christmas kind of gives us a time out….a break…a moment to reflect and remember.

 Thank heavens too for the events that make Christmas so special.
Regardless of our social status, financial situation or religious beliefs, there always seems to be something for everyone to do. You just have to look for it. This is especially true in the Northern Hemisphere of North America where we’ve got lots of beautiful cold and snow for skating, snowball fights, snow forts, snowmen, sledding, sleigh rides, etc.

 If you find yourself getting caught up in the stress of wedding planning and/or Christmas, it’s time to just sit down and re-think some things. What can you do to make it all special for you again? What can you do to NOT make it about stress?

 Join us tomorrow for another beautiful day.

What if the wedding gift I broken or doesn’t work? If this has happened to you, you’ve probably thought…”Should I return it? Should I replace it? Should I tell the sender?”, etc.

This is a very good wedding etiquette question and every situation is a little different so the solution will vary.

• If the gift is shipped to you (the newlywed) directly from a company via an online store or a gift registry, it will often include an invoice (minus the price tag) that also explains how to contact customer service to replace, exchange or return the item if there’s a problem.  In this case, there’s really no need to tell the gift giver when you can take care of it yourself.
• FYI. In the case of gifts, some companies may only be able to do an exchange for the exact item. If they do accept returns, remember the credit generally goes back onto the credit card used to purchase the item. The owner of the credit card, will then see the credit on their statement and know you returned it and probably be hurt. 
• If the broken gift was given to you at the reception, then that can be a little trickier. Some newlyweds would just let it go and avoid the awkwardness of telling the giver the gift was broken. Believe me…the gift giver didn’t spend that money for it to go to waste. It’s ok to ask them where they got it and explain that you love it but you need to exchange it for the same thing because the original one won’t work or is broken.  They will often understand.

Are you feeling “Pre-wedding stress?” Take some time out with your mother, close girlfriends, or sister(s), and also with people who have been through the wedding process. Share your feelings with them, listen to their own stories of angst, and realize that you are not alone in the world.

You greatest support group may be somebody you meet in line at the grocery store who has been through wedding planning before.

If your parents are driving you nuts, you may want to consider venting to your siblings or close girlfriends before going to your fiancé. That way you’ll be able to defuse some of your tension rather than laying it on him. After all, there is no reason to burden him with more of your own family’s dirty laundry than is necessary.

Ahead of time, delegate to your maid of honor and other wedding attendants such duties as making phone calls, helping you address and stamp wedding invitations, or coordinating the fittings for the bridesmaids’ dresses.